Prayer is Real. So is the Therapist's Number

For quite a number of my clients, faith was their first approach. Prayer. Fasting. Speaking to their pastor. Calling their mother. Participating in a deliverance service. Being prayed over at a prayer meeting. And so on. Most of my clients do not come to see me until after they have exhausted all other options. I do not think there is anything wrong with this sequence. Faith is the native tongue of most Ghanaians for talking about their internal world; and for many of us, it is the best (and sometimes only) resource we have available.

My purpose is not to take away that faith from anyone. Rather than debating the view that seeking professional counseling reflects a lack of faith, or personal failure, or perhaps even demonic influence based on the believer's faith, it is more important to examine whether these assumptions are ultimately helpful or constructive. If left unchecked, these beliefs can discourage individuals from assessing valuable support resources that may be able to provide them with much needed support and relief as well as promote timely and holistic recovery.

Think about how we deal with every other part of our lives. We are convinced that God is the supreme healer, yet we will go to a doctor when we get physically ill. We believe that God provides wisdom and yet we will send our children to school. We take the prescription medication provided by our doctor, and we pray over it on our way home. Hardly will we find a congregant that believes you have failed in faith for going to the doctor and praying.

We are able to hold faith while engaging in various activities across almost every area of our lives, except for dealing with our mental health. It can seem as though having faith and being involved in mental health care cancel each other out.

Anxiety, depression and trauma are very real health issues that affect how your nervous system interprets threats, rest and meaning. Anxiety and depression cause your brain to "re-wire" long-established patterns of thinking that you have practiced since childhood. Spiritual bypassing does not eliminate biological responses your body has practiced since childhood. You can pray and work simultaneously. Those two things are not enemies; they are partners and each one performs functions that the other cannot perform alone.

The shame associated with visiting a psychologist exists. In Ghana and across much of Africa, attitudes have begun to shift in recent years; however, a significant level of hesitation and social discomfort still remains. Many people fear how their families would react. They fear what others would think of them. Some individuals fear that attending therapy sessions would indicate to others that they are cursed, possessed or mentally ill/unstable (as our cultures continue to whisper). While these concerns exist, the fears are valid; however, continuing to remain silent will only allow the pain to continue to develop further.

Seeking help is not dramatic or a sign of weakness. Seeking help is not indicative of failing completely. Seeking help indicates that you have looked at your life truthfully and determined that you need additional perspective. Each strong person I know has had someone outside their situation assist them in viewing their situation clearly. That is not weakness; its wisdom functioning as it should. And often that best clarity is often best gained by engaging a trained professional, someone equipped to offer objective, informed and confidential support.

What to look for: a good Therapist will not attempt to replace your faith. A good Therapist will never laugh at your beliefs. A good Therapist will never try to pull you away from your church. A good Therapist will never tell you that your spirituality is the problem. A good Therapist will create space for all parts of your life including the sacred aspects of your life. If a Therapist ever does any of the above then you should seek out another Therapist immediately, not because you have failed in therapy entirely.

Maintain your prayer life. Maintain your relationship with your pastor. Continue to fast on Fridays if it brings you peace. And when the internal struggle continues unabated, schedule the appointment. God does not take offense at you taking care of the mind he provided you. The mind is part of who you are. Providing for yourself includes providing for the mind he provided you with. Caring for it is a component of stewardship of the gift that has been provided unto you.

You can believe deeply and still make the call.